⏰⏰⏰Alarms for my alarms ⏰⏰⏰

When you are a working mom with a large family, you have to set alarms, reminders, passwords, and even motivational photos in plain site to get through the day.

I have a alarm for my morning alarm to remind me to take a minute to pray and breathe BEFORE my day starts.  Acknowledging what can get done and what is out of my control will be the biggest part of my day.

My work day usually starts something like this:

• 5:15am Wake up, meditate, pray
• 5:45am Make sure your feet are on the floor
• 5:50am Make sure hubby is woke
• 6:00am take quick shower 
• 6:10am take out breakfast food and make sure husband has everything for work
• 6:15am wake girls/take out uniforms (just started doing this at night...yeah...at the end of the school year but hey...I will know what to do in the fall to make this faster)
• 6:20am wake boys/take out uniforms
• 6:21am wake Elijah and Makai AGAIN

• 6:23am pull Elijah  and Makai out of the bed
• 6:25am remind the boys to get up
• 6:30am make breakfast
• 6:45am help little ones with brushing teeth and dressing (Matching shoes, hair combed, brushed)
• 7:00am GET YOURSELF DRESSED!!  
• 7:15am walk the dog
• 7:20am wash the dishes
• 7:30am check lunch boxes and any last minute homework
• 7:45am get all book bags, lunch bags and children in the car (COUNT THE KIDS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE ALL IN THE CAR!!! of course there is a story for this one but I'll have to share later....smh)
• 8:00am kids at the school drive through drop off spot (Great idea by the way) Reminder....make sure all children and their items have left the vehicle BEFORE leaving the parking lot 

Do you👀 the doll in the car seat? 
 It was talking in spanish all the way to work!

The little girl left something in my car →

• 8:15am drive through at Dunkin (don't judge me...this is my only time alone and I SAVOR it with a large caramel latte

Check Waze app for downtown traffic and PRAY!

• 9:00am-5:00pm work (yes, i work full time in an office located 20-30 minutes away DEPENDING on traffic)
• 5:30pm Pick up the teenager from school. 

Now, right about ↑ here is where it gets tricky because the Teenager plays basketball/volleyball, so she may have practice or team meeting or SOMETHING that lasts until 9pm.  Yes...9:00pm!!  Who decided practice/rehearsal/volunteer sports should run that late on a school night...I need to speak with them directly.  smh.. On those days, the remainder of my night is strategic and exhausting!!  On other days, with the youngest four children, there's always homework and projects that ONLY mommy can help with (Notice the eye rolling).  

But let's be clear on several things.  My children are assigned chores (for  great ideas on chore charts, click this link: Chore chart ideas) during the weekend because at that point....I AM BURNT OUT.  Also, if you noticed I did not list evening activities that include dinner prep or cooking dinner because my beautiful, "sent from the heavens", "used to be a chef" and now is my "bff" HUSBAND fills in that part.  I prep the food prior to freezing, or storing away but he is the Mon-Fri cook (YEAH ME!!) and the kids help with meal planning for the week.

So the remainder of the evenings look like this:

• 8:00pm bath time for all the boys (which logically means both showers will be occupied at the same time to reduce the time...RIGHT?? smh...it is never the case but my intentions are purposeful)
• 8:45pm** bath time for the youngest girl....and ALL of her dolls (ugh)
• 9:30pm** doing the youngest hair while she is occupied with her tablet (watching other little girls playing with dolls is the new "thing"!  Weird to me but it keeps her still so....hey....whatever works right)
• 10:00pm put in a load of laundry EVERY night
• 10:15pm wash dishes and tidy the house (if hubby has not done so by time I get home...again....I got a winner with that one!! Cooks, cleans and helps with homework....!!!)
• Quick shower before bed and then.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Notice the amount of time they have to bathe in comparison to me.**

For the most part, on most days, this is our schedule.  And while I may not look like I have a chance to breathe or pee (in peace), I normally don't but when you have a large family, anytime you get alone....is a BLESSING!  

Making the choice to make the day great is posted and planted in my head before my eyes open.  Yes, there are many days that something stops us from being great, but we still manage to end the day with all the minis accounted for, minimum trips to the emergency room and everyone has on clean underwear!  

It takes a Village

Many times we hear that it takes a village to raise a child. The definition of this "village" has never been clearly defined.  When I said that quote to my youngest daughter and asked her what did she think that meant she mentioned African Tribes.  She insisted that "village" meant everyone that lives near you.  "Like a village"....she kept repeating as if I was the village idiot.  👀  And while I do support that theory, we should realize that most families have multiple children and so how we connect to our village is important. We should make sure we don't over look the new family in the neighborhood, school, church, or even at the local libraries.

How do you connect to other families, parents, teachers, neighbors and others to build a strong village?  Do you see the significance in the unification of your village?  Have you seen how siloed we've become over the years due to panic, lack of empathy, and social media?  How has the influence of the internet disconnected your village?

A village should be diverse and is strong when we are including all people not just who we are most familiar. Think about your village of friends, what does that look like? What made you choose to include them in your village?  Are they similar to you or are they different?

Let's break down what my village looks like and maybe reflect on how to expand our village to not only make it strong but to make sure no "position" has been overlooked.

• Village Elders- older neighbors, and trusted elderly family members
• Village Advisors-Aunts, Uncles and grandparents
• Village Chiefs-Parents
• Youth Groups-all young people under the age of 18 who do not have children
• Villagers-everyone

Now, take a moment to think about what position you have filled, and what position(s) still need to be filled.  We put in place roles/responsibilities to assist us with raising our child(ren) to be respectful, honoring themselves, and believing in themselves.  We should think about age, gender and racial diversity when we focus on providing the best opportunity to not just our children but to others who are not in our immediate families.  Many families may be new to your community that do not know who to reach out to for assistance, advice or even play dates.

So, when you start thinking of the positions in your village that need to be filled, take your time.  Realize positions can be shifted and are not meant to be permanent. However, we have a universal need to connect and stay connected as well as the need to build our village stronger.  I hope you can create or be a part of an amazing village and recognize you are not alone on this path.

Don't allow yourself to be the village idiot!  Make a connection and build your village!!!