Finishing strong

Every morning, I see the cute young people jogging while I'm driving to work.  They look so carefree, and in meditational thought.  They look like running would be fun for a person like me with a lot on her plate. (But I can see myself looking more like Rasputia from Norbit then looking like Althea Gibson.) Not only because they have the cute little leggings and tops but because the simple counting of their breath, focus on each step, the distraction of not being distracted TOTALLY intrigues me.

Now, I used to run daily and took time to coordinate my attire.  I used to be one of those young people that enjoyed that sound of their increased heartbeat. I used to be one of the "cool" kids.  and then.....I had "adulting" and "parenting" standing at the end of each run that stopped me from returning to the pavement. So I continue to ride by sipping my caramel latte wishing for one day to trade places with these "runners".

Why shouldn't I be a part of this elite group of people again who sweat for the purpose not just because they were experiencing menopause?  Maybe I should venture out of my comfort zone called "Mom-zone" and hit the pavement.  

SO....I decided on my 40th birthday, at the beginning of February, to start running.  I found the most conservative attire, my son took me to get the latest pair of running shoes, and my cousin introduced me to a FABULOUS group of women who liked to run.  

"Ok....here we go"  it was 6:00am on a very cold February Sunday morning in Baltimore and I was more than nervous, I just wanted to run......TO MY CAR AND LOCK THE DOORS!  I had to remember I was 40 and fabulous and did not want to be 40 and fat!   

Deep breaths.... I focused on the youngest girl in the group who looked like she could outrun a bear and started stretching these old tired, "caramel latte every morning" body. I managed enough courage to remember my training from many high school years ago (for those that don't know...thats like 20 dog years!!)  Oh yeah.... I tried running on my first run down this beautiful, flowing hill before the pack of ladies turned into one lonely dust bunny (me) left way back.  They continued on with their run BUT after they made their "time", each one of the runners came back to encourage me to complete what I started. They not only encouraged me but ran with me to help me create a pace that I could manage.

By the end of that walk, jog, stop breathe, walk I gained a new respect for myself and those elite run groups!  I had a new appreciation for the packs of runners I would see in the mornings.  They had a "code"!!

They understood how the latte was so addictive and called out to me as the pavement called to them EVERY morning.  At the finish spot, we all celebrated each ladies' goal and successes, regardless of how small.  They even mentioned how the latte called to them in the mornings BUT on those days they ran further....longer to make up for whatever junk they consumed that day.

Listen, I am by no means an accomplished runner and I am still a bit jealous of the "pack", however, I learned the rules and will one day lead the group.  I'm just kidding!  It sounded good though, didn't it?  I am currently not ready to be a leader of the sprint/run team.  What I am is determined to complete what I started, and to accept the possibility that I can be a good runner (with a cute outfit and shoes). 

Why run when you can fly.....

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to scream because everything around you is running at Superman speed and you're not even in the race??   Lately, not only has everyone and everything seem to be running at an unusually fast pace, but I, for the first time, just watched.  Watching from the sidelines, cheering on the most amazing people.   This is what they mean by "adulting"? I don't think I saw a sign-up sheet for this event "adulting"!!

I realized that I was no longer sitting with the crowd cheering, I was now alone in the stands.

Now, I know many people will say "Well, you have to brush yourself off and get back in the race."  And while that was true, it was also furthest from what I needed.

I needed to take care of ME!  I had to become my biggest, loudest, most obnoxious cheerleader. Standing alone, in the stands, allowed me to view the hurdles that were quickly being placed in my lane, but I could also see the finish line for each goal.  By standing alone in my cheering section, I could also get closer or step back when I needed to get a clearer view.  I did not need to "...brush yourself off and get back in the race."  I needed to rest, study, and prepare for the obstacles that others could not clear.  I needed to warn others of what could be ahead and take note of how they used what they knew to keep going.

 I had everything I needed to achieve this goal but I didn't understand I WAS NOT CREATED TO RUN. I needed to fly!!! I had a group of angels that could help me but I thought they would just push, or pull me when I felt like giving up.  What I didn't know was they had been placed in my life to encourage me to spread my wings.  They saw my wings before I knew I had any.  They felt the breeze because they were flyers.

Whenever I feel like screaming or I get frustrated I have to remember, that races are for runners and they need lanes. I am a flyer.....and need to soar.

Where, Oh where, have I been......

Hey everyone!

Sorry that I have been missing in action for these past two months...but as a Rush Hour Momma....life never stops.  So, let's get caught up:  One work trip out of town for a week, a trip to the beach, several pool dates/parties,  and even a museum!  All of this happened during the latter weeks in June through the end of July.  SIX solid weeks of summer craziness!

Wildwood Beach, New Jersey:

The family trip included sand, sun, Henna tattoos, and so much more.  We picked a perfect day to go on this three hour adventure with a minivan full of excited little people.  We wandered up and down the shoreline capturing photos and taking in all the giggles.  The kids collected seashell, swam in the cold water, took turns making their sand kingdoms, and just sat still long enough to listen to the waves.  

They had a chance to disconnect from all things electronic and really use the day to play and bond with each other.  And guess what....NO FIGHTS, ARGUMENTS, WHINING,

DISAGREEMENTS.....seriously. Are you as surprised as me?  I mean we had a group of  six young people with very strong personalities (7 yr old to 23 yr old) and not one "I'm telling Mom" or "Stop it" moments! I was quite shocked too as I watch them compromise on EVERY decision.  (pats self on back....they were listening)

Makai, Dierra, Destinee Trinity,
Elijah, and Isaiah

I don't come from a large family but I always stress to my children the importance of family and sibling relationships.  I tell them with hopes they understand that no matter what, they are bound together by more than just their last names, or how they look....the are bound in blood!  And while I can reflect to tell them how important sibling relationships are and should be cherished, I think they showed it on this trip.  Woohoo!!

My return flight in the middle of
a terrible storm in Maryland

Cleveland, Ohio:

I had a work trip to Cleveland that took me out of my comfort zone and I flew on a plane (solo...no girl friends, spouse, co-workers) for the first time EVER!

9th and Euclid Streets,
Cleveland, Ohio

Playhouse Square

The flight was great!  I had a window seat and really nice view.   This being my first time ever on a plane, I did not know what to expect.  Gratefully, I had great pilot and row mates that helped me navigate and pray.  Yes, on my take off, the lady who sat beside me, never said a word directly to me but bowed her head, closed her eyes and clasped her hands.  We held that moment and breathed deeply, and sat in silence. She and I never spoke a word but her energy was calming and exactly what I needed. I had an opportunity to take in some of the beautiful scenery and amazing food during this trip.

I cannot tell you how much I learned a lot about myself and my support system back home in this week away. MY HUSBAND is amazing.  He stepped up and into the role of RHM (Rush Hour Momma) without batting an eye!  Cooked meals, made sure the children bathed (don't laugh....they would rather skip the soap and jump right out the water!) and even enforced the chore chart.  Cha-ching!!  When he picked me up with all the children in the truck, I knew then how much he really appreciated me.  

I captured this photo 7am one morning while walking to my meeting. 

Washington, D.C.

National Museum of African American History and Culture

I had the opportunity to visit the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC.  Now, I saved this one to talk about last for several reasons.  My emotions this day was all over the place. I was so excited to finally see how the WORLD would see our history.  I was nervous to see what I did not know about our history. And.....I was not emotionally prepared for the day.  I spent the day listening to the voices of not just the displays but also the small, isolated conversations from my elders as they remembered the days that were recorded, as some young people laughed nervously at the pain of our past, as others continued to honor and recognize not just the conversations of slaves to their children, but how the story had been passed down by generations to say the names of the slaves that had made the journey to the many ports across the globe.  This journey, for me, was a moment that I will never forget.  I come from a long line of strong men and women.  We have faced the worse possible outcome, and became President of the United States.  We fought for our freedom and paid for it with our lives, but never giving up that WE have come so far and still so far to go.

This summer has been quite interesting and educational my family. I hope you enjoyed my little summer blurb and will post again soon.  

Windy day but all smiles! Me and the Mr.

⏰⏰⏰Alarms for my alarms ⏰⏰⏰

When you are a working mom with a large family, you have to set alarms, reminders, passwords, and even motivational photos in plain site to get through the day.

I have a alarm for my morning alarm to remind me to take a minute to pray and breathe BEFORE my day starts.  Acknowledging what can get done and what is out of my control will be the biggest part of my day.

My work day usually starts something like this:

• 5:15am Wake up, meditate, pray
• 5:45am Make sure your feet are on the floor
• 5:50am Make sure hubby is woke
• 6:00am take quick shower 
• 6:10am take out breakfast food and make sure husband has everything for work
• 6:15am wake girls/take out uniforms (just started doing this at night...yeah...at the end of the school year but hey...I will know what to do in the fall to make this faster)
• 6:20am wake boys/take out uniforms
• 6:21am wake Elijah and Makai AGAIN

• 6:23am pull Elijah  and Makai out of the bed
• 6:25am remind the boys to get up
• 6:30am make breakfast
• 6:45am help little ones with brushing teeth and dressing (Matching shoes, hair combed, brushed)
• 7:00am GET YOURSELF DRESSED!!  
• 7:15am walk the dog
• 7:20am wash the dishes
• 7:30am check lunch boxes and any last minute homework
• 7:45am get all book bags, lunch bags and children in the car (COUNT THE KIDS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE ALL IN THE CAR!!! of course there is a story for this one but I'll have to share later....smh)
• 8:00am kids at the school drive through drop off spot (Great idea by the way) Reminder....make sure all children and their items have left the vehicle BEFORE leaving the parking lot 

Do you👀 the doll in the car seat? 
 It was talking in spanish all the way to work!

The little girl left something in my car →

• 8:15am drive through at Dunkin (don't judge me...this is my only time alone and I SAVOR it with a large caramel latte

Check Waze app for downtown traffic and PRAY!

• 9:00am-5:00pm work (yes, i work full time in an office located 20-30 minutes away DEPENDING on traffic)
• 5:30pm Pick up the teenager from school. 

Now, right about ↑ here is where it gets tricky because the Teenager plays basketball/volleyball, so she may have practice or team meeting or SOMETHING that lasts until 9pm.  Yes...9:00pm!!  Who decided practice/rehearsal/volunteer sports should run that late on a school night...I need to speak with them directly.  smh.. On those days, the remainder of my night is strategic and exhausting!!  On other days, with the youngest four children, there's always homework and projects that ONLY mommy can help with (Notice the eye rolling).  

But let's be clear on several things.  My children are assigned chores (for  great ideas on chore charts, click this link: Chore chart ideas) during the weekend because at that point....I AM BURNT OUT.  Also, if you noticed I did not list evening activities that include dinner prep or cooking dinner because my beautiful, "sent from the heavens", "used to be a chef" and now is my "bff" HUSBAND fills in that part.  I prep the food prior to freezing, or storing away but he is the Mon-Fri cook (YEAH ME!!) and the kids help with meal planning for the week.

So the remainder of the evenings look like this:

• 8:00pm bath time for all the boys (which logically means both showers will be occupied at the same time to reduce the time...RIGHT?? smh...it is never the case but my intentions are purposeful)
• 8:45pm** bath time for the youngest girl....and ALL of her dolls (ugh)
• 9:30pm** doing the youngest hair while she is occupied with her tablet (watching other little girls playing with dolls is the new "thing"!  Weird to me but it keeps her still so....hey....whatever works right)
• 10:00pm put in a load of laundry EVERY night
• 10:15pm wash dishes and tidy the house (if hubby has not done so by time I get home...again....I got a winner with that one!! Cooks, cleans and helps with homework....!!!)
• Quick shower before bed and then.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**Notice the amount of time they have to bathe in comparison to me.**

For the most part, on most days, this is our schedule.  And while I may not look like I have a chance to breathe or pee (in peace), I normally don't but when you have a large family, anytime you get alone....is a BLESSING!  

Making the choice to make the day great is posted and planted in my head before my eyes open.  Yes, there are many days that something stops us from being great, but we still manage to end the day with all the minis accounted for, minimum trips to the emergency room and everyone has on clean underwear!  

It takes a Village

Many times we hear that it takes a village to raise a child. The definition of this "village" has never been clearly defined.  When I said that quote to my youngest daughter and asked her what did she think that meant she mentioned African Tribes.  She insisted that "village" meant everyone that lives near you.  "Like a village"....she kept repeating as if I was the village idiot.  👀  And while I do support that theory, we should realize that most families have multiple children and so how we connect to our village is important. We should make sure we don't over look the new family in the neighborhood, school, church, or even at the local libraries.

How do you connect to other families, parents, teachers, neighbors and others to build a strong village?  Do you see the significance in the unification of your village?  Have you seen how siloed we've become over the years due to panic, lack of empathy, and social media?  How has the influence of the internet disconnected your village?

A village should be diverse and is strong when we are including all people not just who we are most familiar. Think about your village of friends, what does that look like? What made you choose to include them in your village?  Are they similar to you or are they different?

Let's break down what my village looks like and maybe reflect on how to expand our village to not only make it strong but to make sure no "position" has been overlooked.

• Village Elders- older neighbors, and trusted elderly family members
• Village Advisors-Aunts, Uncles and grandparents
• Village Chiefs-Parents
• Youth Groups-all young people under the age of 18 who do not have children
• Villagers-everyone

Now, take a moment to think about what position you have filled, and what position(s) still need to be filled.  We put in place roles/responsibilities to assist us with raising our child(ren) to be respectful, honoring themselves, and believing in themselves.  We should think about age, gender and racial diversity when we focus on providing the best opportunity to not just our children but to others who are not in our immediate families.  Many families may be new to your community that do not know who to reach out to for assistance, advice or even play dates.

So, when you start thinking of the positions in your village that need to be filled, take your time.  Realize positions can be shifted and are not meant to be permanent. However, we have a universal need to connect and stay connected as well as the need to build our village stronger.  I hope you can create or be a part of an amazing village and recognize you are not alone on this path.

Don't allow yourself to be the village idiot!  Make a connection and build your village!!!

A Mother's Love

Many times through my parenting, I questioned this large title of "Mom".  Whoever should wear this name has to be perfect!!  I mean how could they not be....they are raising our future.  Whoever has this name must be fully knowledgeable of all things.  How can a person expect to hold this name....wear this cape....carry that shield of protection without having earned every degree in martial arts, read every book by the historical psychologists, practiced every language (infant, tween and
teen), studied every magic trick and was still able to leap a tall building in a single bound.  ((snickering)) But come on....who would volunteer for this???  And then to add the word "Step" to that already large name!!!  Geeze Loise...the "Super Step" would have to be EVEN more well read, well versed and even MORE dynamic than the name actually meant.

I have seen and heard many horror stories on blended and large families.  How you don't notice the dysfunction until your ready to scream and run for the hills!  I've seen on many talk shows about how blended families struggle but then to add BLENDED and LARGE???  Who ever chose those two descriptions in that GREAT BIG BOOK OF LIFE must need their heads examined.  But I have also witnessed many successful co-parenting situations that allowed me to see the strength in love and forgiveness.

I am often introduced as "this is Angel.  And do you know she has eleven kids?!?!" as if that was the name listed on my birth certificate. Can you imagine how large my Id would have to be... "Angel Did-You-Know-She-Has Eleven-Kids Jackson"  Really!???!?!  I guess that is what I should write on the name tags I get when meeting new people.


When I had my first set of children, I had ABSOLUTELY no idea what I was doing.  And the idea of being perfect....went flying out the door the day I brought my nine pound screaming child home.  But they lived, they grew up, hug me and say I love you pass the moon, stars and other galaxies.

That title "mom" was etched in stone from the moment I was given the blood test to confirm my pregnancy.  However, the name "mom" still did not sit well with me when my oldest was the only child.  I guess that is why I decided....he should have someone to tell his secrets to, and for that person to recognize and laugh at the irony of it all.

But "mom" was a mighty word.  How could I live up to be that kind of super-shero?  Who has time to read all those books that were in the parenting section of every library/bookstore/coffee house?  Who
said that I would be able to wear that title and pronounce it with all the strength my ancestors gave me?  Who knew how connected all things "child" would be in the actual pronunciation of the name "Mom"?

I mean....I know many women who were excited about being a mom and others who were thrilled of the thought of additional children they did not have to labor.  ((that actually is rather ingenious now that I think about it...no stretch mark, labor pains or any other thing people connect negatively to pregnancy))  To take on the responsibility of loving, guiding, caring, nurturing another's child(ren) as if they were your own.....now that is a whole new kind of smart, yet crazy, that I fully dived into without knowing how to swim until I realized I was drowning.

Being a mom meant many sleepless nights, many trips to the doctors, back and forth to the market (UGH.....how my grocery bill soared!!)  and the occasional trip to the mall for shoes. It also meant that I was taking the charge to raise my children to be the best version of me!  As if that is EVEN possible, I continued leading the way with my four little people in tow.  They learned with me, disciplined me, chastised me, and gave me all the time outs I could imagine.  But when I met my husband.  And then his children...I knew!  I was stuck on stupid and a GLUTTON for punishment!  Who did I think I was?  Blending a family of children who were almost the same age and choosing to not only stick around but to love them as if they were my own.

God gives us many challenges in life.  Some I think, He sits back and elbows the other saints that are with him like...."humph...watch this.  She has no clue why her parents named her Angel."  I think he find humor in my acts of "super-shero-isms".  (and yes that is a word....I made it up but it's still a word)  Being a mom and step-mom to a large group of children has taught me many things:

There will be many sleepless nights....BECAUSE THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO HAVE A GREAT SLEEPOVER IF YOU FALL ASLEEP!  and that's ok.
There will be many trips to the doctor....BECAUSE LIFE HAPPENS and that's ok.
There will be ENDLESS amounts of trips to the grocery store...BECAUSE EVEN SOUS CHEFS BURN WATER and that's ok.
There will be a relentless amount of shoe shopping.....HOW ELSE CAN YOU ESCAPE YOUR MEAN STINKY BROTHERS IF YOU DON'T LEARN HOW TO SHOP and that's ok.

Listen....there are many fears I have encountered when I took that cape and upgraded it from Mom to StepMom.  But there are so many joys that outweigh the fears!  How else could you explain the craziness, the loud talking, the "we eat together always", the "we share the same blood",  the "we shed the same tears", the "we laugh at the same body winds" (as my granny says...lol) or how we love on one another constantly!

A mother's love is large, evolving, scary, strong, IMPORTANT, necessary, heroic, tiresome, and most of all...a mother's love JUST IS!

The Children that would eat no meat

When choosing meals for a family of my size it would be ideal to plan meals as if everyone to eat the same food and ENJOY IT!  hahahahahaha....well my friend, this is not only a laugh but a cruel joke.  I have very picky eaters, a sometime vegan/vegetarian, a moody eater and an athlete.  Then I have the rest of the family. (shaking my head)

 My youngest mini told me she wanted to be a superhero aka "Melanin Shero" but her kryptonite is this tricky weather and shortness of breath.  Her diagnosis of asthma did not lessen her desire to be heroic but strengthen her search for Superhero food.  :)

And then there were my other minis, who also decided they no longer wanted to hurt any animal or for a momma chicken to miss her baby chick.  Which made me want to scream to the heavens when trying to find a lunch my children could take to school daily for lunch.  They would not eat lunch meat sandwiches or the regular PBJ.  Let me be clear....I AM A SOUTHERN COOK WHO USES MEAT TO SEASON VEGGIES AND SEASON OTHER MEATS!  How can I put together a meal for children who not only are disgusted by the site of raw meat and blood but also by the thought of hurting anything that had a heart beat?  Whose children are these!!!!???

And while I have several vegetarian friends, as adults, I did not know of any children who chose to not eat meat. I mean...come on... didn't the bible say God created animals for us to eat or was that something my southern grandma made up?  Wasn't bacon a part of the food pyramid?  I mean....after all...we are talking about BACON.

Either way....what was I expected to do when I knew ABSOLUTELY nothing about how to make sure my children ate a healthy balanced diet did not include our usual protein intake.  What was a mother to do?

I had to seek out other parents for "moral" support.  They all seemed to be amazed and even amused at my story of the "Children that would eat no meat".

However, there is a happy ending to this story. Apparently there are other children who are characters in the story (who knew). And while handing my children over to the first vegetarian family I met IS HIGHLY FROWNED UPON....I eventually found meals that would be easy not only on my schedule but on my wallet.  I found items that I never would have incorporated in my menu/meal planning.  Items like avocados, lentils and other legumes I never tasted yet alone knew how to make. I am so grateful for YouTube and apps like Pinterest.   We sat down with the children to see what they would be interested in and created a Pinterest board specifically with items they selected.  (Be Still my Vegetarian Heart)

As a working mom, there are many battles we face daily in our comings and goings throughout the day.  We do the laundry, assist with homework, serve as Uber drivers and alarm clocks.  We have to pick our battles carefully.  And while I am a southern cook, the battle for meals was a small loss in the larger scheme of things.  I lowered my stress level because I no longer had children crying at the dinner table, or wasted food from their lunch boxes.

Listen, there are no magic wands to make them love the same food at the same time but there are ways to make your life less stressful. Find what works for you...AND them.  Include them in the process.  Allow their voices to be heard.  You may be surprised to learn...Our minis are all a big part of the same story.

Raising Kings

I was a young single mother who had the pleasure of raising three handsome boys and a beautiful daughter.  Once married, not only did I gain two additional bonus sons but my husband and I created three sons from our union.  Yes, you have that correct.  We have EIGHT sons (K.I.T=Kings in Training) 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

  Realizing there were no easy roads, or handouts from anyone, We began focusing on their future.  I understood how powerful we had to be to raise these young boys to be productive young men.  We had to make sure the men that were involved in their lives, would have a productive impact.  Their father, uncles, male cousins had no real concept of "it takes a village" meant.  Reaching out to teachers, ministers, and other males to assist in teaching lessons, showing them how to stand up straight (something about the shoulder alignment made me smile), how to wear a tie, how to read and comprehend, and how to be men.

 We had to teach our sons how the world would view them because they are boys of color.  Yes, my daughters are girls of color (black girl magic runs through her veins) but for our men, the focus was different.  We had to teach them how to be strong in the face of adversity, be quiet in the face of opposition and be mindful of the company they chose to call friends.

Being a young man of color is far more difficult than I could EVER image. How can you expect your male child to have positive outlook if there aren't any positive images.  The ones they see are men who have stopped growing.  You know the ones that are emasculated, over-stressed, seemingly angry males.  You know the ones that have been in and out of jail for doing things (unlawful things) to provide for his family.  The males who are under-educated and super proud so they do not know how to ask for help.  We made a firm decision we would do better and expect more.

When our sons chose us to be their parents,  we chose to not only raise them with every power and inner strength handed down from generations but we also vowed our sons would NEVER be a statistic. We vowed that our sons would break any bar that had been placed below their feet to raise it above ALL.  We vowed that no matter what, we would NEVER give up on our children or allow anyone to expect any less.  We vowed that we would be the parent that would speak to teachers when my child excelled or struggled.  We vowed that our sons would NEVER know the pain of being told "no; your not qualified; you should quit; or you are being placed under arrest".

My husband and I put in place a check and balance to make sure our children knew how to "be seen in public". Be respectful to your neighbors....honor your elders....be the example of EVERYTHING you don't read in the newspapers or see on TV.

So why do I say my children are royalty when society has claimed they will wear metal bracelets vs a beautiful crown. History of constantly being told that people of color are lower than/less than.... has been the cause of many K.I.T. to no only not understand their full potential but do not understand how to place pride, intelligence, and self worth into the heart and souls of their future children.  Our families continue to struggle with the mental crown they have to adjust when it tilts.  The crown that tilts whenever a teacher tells them they will never be, when the neighbor ignores rather than reach out, when the community walks by without acknowledging the existence or acknowledging the greatness that has been sacrificed by the KINGS and QUEENS before us.

So again you may ask why do I consider my children royalty?  Why am I so sure people of color are royalty?  Am I saying that our non-melanin counterparts are not, or cannot be royalty.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  All of our children are born with the gift of the crown.  What we teach them about self love, spiritual growth, and the spirit of curiosity is how they learn to wear the crown.  I encourage my children to live, swim, breathe in the acknowledgement of our ancestors, the power of their future and the limitless expectations they have available.

These gifts make each one of our children different but so yet so similar.  Let me be clear....the melanin that has been placed in their skin is the crown you see but what you don't see are their inner strengths, struggles, accomplishments and triumphs.  What you don't see, in comparison to their non-melanin counterparts, is the privilege seen and given at birth.  What you don't see, in the lives of our K.I.T., are the constant reminders of low expectations at birth.

The type of crown my boys wear cannot be taken from them by any other person regardless of their lineage or namesake.  My kings use their crowns to stand tall, and be the example of what other boys/men should emulate when searching for their crown. They have the  ability to spot another King and acknowledge royalty is not competition but necessary representation of life.


We are raising a generation of ROYALTY.  Let's all be held accountable for the level of each of their crowns.

The Reluctantly Organized Basketball Mom

Being a mom to several "above - average" height children, has taught me many things.  One of the most important chapters I learned....I AM A BASKETBALL MOM!!  My life as a teenager who loved sports, did not prepare me for what would take over my ENTIRE life.  Not that it's a bad thing but how do you manage: work, homework (for myself and kids), be a dutiful wife, and still show up to random family or school functions.  Well.....I can tell you this.  It took many years of sleepless nights, missed games, late practices, long phone calls with other parents and an occasional slice of cheesecake and glass of wine with my best friend to pull this together to flow a bit more seamlessly.

There is no magic school bus that will appear at my children's schools to take them home.  I had to become Ms. Frizzle.  I had to make each trip to each practice, game or any other event a part of the learning opportunity.  We took trips to various schools across the city and yes, homework was done in route and sometimes we were on public transportation but they also had to tell me: what was important about their day.  Why did they get the opportunity to rise that day?  How were they a good friend?  A studious listener? Or what new friend did they eat with?

The many trips up and down the road taught me many lessons on organization and communication.  I started using a dry erase board (that was hung in our dining room) to track the events for the week.  Whether it was a parent/teacher meeting or a meeting I needed to prep for at work.  EVERY thing went on the "BOARD OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS".  I reviewed many links on Pinterest (Command post ideas; Kitchen command center; Another command center idea and finally found the one I loved most.  (multiple calendar command)

There will and continues to be tweeks (and trips) in our constant change in schedules, and moving pieces in your day.  But no matter what happens, the best advice someone gave me that I must share with you....BREATHE!!  I know that sounds basic but listen, there is a difference in the type of breath you take.  Are you breathing to survive or breathing in all that is happening around you?  When you breathe in the title of SPORTS PARENT you breathe in all the tears, sweat, late nights, early mornings, travel and joys of being the example of all things possible.

There is no easy answer when your  a working parent of children and add in an after school activity.....but there is no greater joy then being there for your child WIN or LOOSE.  When you watch them reach goals set with a "but I can't" mindset.  Remind yourself, as you remind them....YOU CAN!! Not because of the sacrifices you may be making for them but because YOU BELIEVE IN THEM!

BELIEVE IN THE DREAM AND THEY WILL FOLLOW!  

And now....I'm off to update my board for May's activities.  :)  TTFN!!

Recharged Super Power

As a working mom, I rarely have time to read personal emails or be able to review the latest articles that I saved.  But when I checked my email for a response to an email I sent to a teacher at the teenager's school, I happened to open the link for a post on Oprah's website.  I took a few more moments to not just open but read the post.  Oprah gave me an AH HA moment  With work being extremely busy, and basketball season never ending, I realized I was mentally exhausted.

Imagine my surprise when I realized I had superpowers and still had a weakness!  Really??!!  I can scan Hamlet to make it relavent to my teenager, help my 6th grader with his algebra homework (I had to look to Youtube for help!!) and assist my 5th grader with study habits for his spelling test.  But I was mentally exhausted.


I noticed I was distracted, and less focused on all the stuff I needed to do in my day.  I was overwhelmed with new information I had to learn and master at work, while keeping up with playdates, being a homeroom parent for all my children's classes, arriving at various basketball practice locations, trainer information and game times.  I usually master all of these things in moments, but it was taking longer and my memory was seemingly growing shorter.  Thank goodness I recognized I needed a vacation and it was not because I was getting old. Being 40 years old brings on new challenges and I truly wasn't sure if this was one.

I needed a vacation but what I needed most was several days to rest mentally.  I needed to find a way to recharge.  I needed to find a way to be home, in my castle, in my cave, on my own planet away from the what was draining me.  I had taken on TOO many projects and never stopped moving.

I decided to take a week off from work and spend it doing fun things with the people I loved most....My minis!  My husband!! Myself!!!  How can I expect to save the world from the mean old monsters in the closet, the "I'm bored" child that I don't remember having, or the "I miss you, mommy" minis if I can't remember where I am supposed to be right now.  The last straw was when I showed up for a game at the wrong location and forgot to prep for dinner the night before. I knew then, what my husband said to me was a true....I TOLD YOU SO moment.  I needed to rest, and I needed to do it now.  Work would have to wait....parent social hour would have to be rescheduled....basketball games would need to be carpooled.

I told my minis that I would be home that week and they were shocked.  I get several weeks vacation at my place of employment and ALWAYS carryover ten days!  I only call out if one of the minis are ill.  I am the first one at work...and the last to leave.  You know...the perfectionist that has to do it all but doesn't know how to ask for help.  Yep...that was me.  (Is that you too?)

And in that very moment...at the very second my youngest jumped for joy....I realized they needed to recharge with me.  We planned a week of activities that included trips to several local parks and playgrounds, one on one time with each child, and one day for myself to do ABSOLUTELY nothing!
They enjoyed the eight playgrounds on three different days, they loved the movie night and most of all I loved every moment with them.

We are superheros in our own ways, but remember...for every superhero there is an assistant/sidekick to help them think through their heroic day.  Make sure you find your Alfred, Robin, Jimmy Olsten or Wonder Girl to help you be your best self!

What is My Secret?

Many people hear how many children we have and are shocked that I work outside of our home.  How do I get it all done and still sleep for at least 7 hours at night?  How do I manage so many little personalities at home and at work?  What is my secret?

Well, to be honest. there is only one secret that I know.  Trust God.

I have been a single parent with four children, worked and went to school.  My children (the first set) were taught the power is within them.  They know that on any given day, the will need to step up and be a good friend, a great listener and a strong leader.  These traits were taught to them early in their childhood not because I instructed them to be this way, but they saw how I interact with people.  The saw how elders are the pillars of the community and how to teach the generation behind them to be strong.

I am a married mother of eleven children now.  I have several bumps, and bruises from what has become my life as a mother, wife, sister, and friend.  I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but what I know is this path is mine to walk.  And with my husband and my faith leading the way, how could this journey not be full of trials, and triumphs!  Laughter and insightful moments! Reflection and teaching opportunities.

We are parents that work outside of our home, have five children in private schools (check out scholarship availability in your area), and six grown children who lead lives that many dream of.  I am a basketball mom that makes trips up and down the east coast, when possible, but also know when I need to tag in a friend or family member for help.

There are many scary things that come with parenting, and working outside of the home is one.  We had to find a childcare provider we trust, find a transportation service we could afford, and find employment that would allow for some flexibility.

Reality is....when an opportunity of parenting is placed upon us, it is a gift!  Like Christmas or Birthday every day of your life.  Celebrate it!!!  Even when you don't feel like it....stretch and shake yourself out of the "muck" that can consume you if you allow.  You have to start your day with the thought of I CAN, I WILL, and CLAIM IT.  Claim your victory.  Even when you feel overwhelmed and defeated, claim your success!  Focus on your goal for the minute, hour, day.  You will be able to see how your attitude will influence not just your day but the day of your minis, spouse and loved ones.

I have many tips and tricks to help keep my sanity, and smiling is one tip.  Smile today and shine your light!

2017 Junior Prom that Wasn't

Couple of the dresses she tried on at the
mall.

The teenager and I were mall hopping and dress shopping for months for her Junior Prom.  We searched on Pinterest (Dee's Prom dress ideas) and checked many online stores for dresses she would wear to Junior Prom  Cute online dress site but we worried about the length.  (She is 6'2!!)

She finally decided she wanted to get her dress custom made due to her long legs. (smh...I think they grow an inch every day!)

Dee's Designer
We narrowed down the color a beautiful teal and found the perfect design to meet her athletic build.  She grew excited.....while I grew nervous.  Not because I didn't trust her choices, because I do. Not because she was going to have to ask "some" boy to go to the prom with her, because I know she would make a good choice.  I wasn't even nervous because she was going to party until the sun came up.  I was nervous....because of ALL OF THE ABOVE AND....she is my first born daughter.
In my head, I remember when she was born I had the doctor check several times to confirm she was a girl.  That somehow in the see of testosterone and sea of blue....I would finally have a girl.  I wanted to make sure that even though they confirmed she was a girl in my ultra sounds, that somehow...there was not a gender mistake.  And through all the confirmation of her "girliness" I dreamed of her attending her proms and her wedding. Being a beautiful teenager blushing and shying away from the attention, as I had done (many MANY moons before).

So today we journey out to get measurements for her dress.  (I think I started hyperventilating at some point on this day because I kept hearing her say to me...."Mom, just breathe"....)  I watched as my mini me graduated to a mini diva!  When did this happen?  Who told her she could grow up?

Her designer/seamstress finalized Dee's dream dress and we were ready for her to be AMAZING!  Now time to find the right shoe to fit that floor length dress she designed.  There are many stores online but....we needed to see the shoe on her foot.  We decided to look for shoes after her tryouts for her AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) basketball team Maryland Belles.  Everything seemed to be falling into place.  She was excited and I was a proud momma.

We went looking at several shoe stores but did not find the "right" shoe.  My Cinderella would not be happy until the shoe fit perfectly!  :)

That evening, we were cooked dinner and when you are cooking for a large family like mine, dinner is always fun and interesting.  We search for foods that not only appeal to my southern style of cooking but are appetizing to my 11 year old vegetarian!  Yes my son, Elijah, has decided to not eat anything that once had a heart beat!  We have to constantly search the web, and my favorite sites to find food for all that fit a small budget.

I finally get everyone settled down for a quick dinner Veggie Burrito while I check emails one last time before shutting down for the night.  We get the email we were waiting for from the coach of her AAU team.  She made the team!!!  Yip Yip Yipee!!!!  Now let me check the schedule so I can re-prioritize my schedule for several months of games, practices and trainings.

They have an important Tournament during the same time as her prom!!!!!!!!  How can I tell her she will not be able to go to prom because college recruiters would be there to see her play?  How can I tell my Princess Diva that she would have to delay this night for about a year??  I mean, after all....it was her Junior Prom.  What would you do?

There were many tears, hugs, prayer and words of encouragement before I could even begin to crush my daughter's dream of the Perfect Prom.  But being the person she is, she took the news rather well.  She understood the significance of the college recruiters seeing her in her junior year of high school. We decided to have a Mommy and Teen day to get mani-pedis and just focus on what was important.  HER FUTURE

Being a mom has definitely taught me a lot about character.  We have to trust God's will and know that what is meant to be will always shine through.  2017 Junior Prom turned out to be the prom that wasn't but looking back at all the time i spent with my teenager, I REALLY appreciate the bigger picture.  Yes, she would have had a great time.  Yes, she would have been beautiful. Yes, all those memories she would have for years to come.  But what was missing from all, we thought was important?  The bond we have.  The time we spent together!  The conversations we shared. The laughter we had when trying on dresses that were too short, wrong fit, or just not the right one.  Never loose sight of what is important as we move quickly through our day.

Hey there!  We are the Jacksons!  A blended family of fun, sports, random giggles, loads of positive energy.

When my husband and I met, we realized that in our union not only did we have a lot in common for our future goals, but we also had mutual childhood friends and memories.  While we grew up in two different parts of our city, our lives crossed at various points but we never met.  (crazy right?!!)

We dated for several years before jumping the broom in August of 2005.

 This was one of the BEST days of our lives.  

Welcome to our busy lives......and journey with me as I raise this rambunctious group I lovingly call our Minis.