The Reluctantly Organized Basketball Mom

Being a mom to several "above - average" height children, has taught me many things.  One of the most important chapters I learned....I AM A BASKETBALL MOM!!  My life as a teenager who loved sports, did not prepare me for what would take over my ENTIRE life.  Not that it's a bad thing but how do you manage: work, homework (for myself and kids), be a dutiful wife, and still show up to random family or school functions.  Well.....I can tell you this.  It took many years of sleepless nights, missed games, late practices, long phone calls with other parents and an occasional slice of cheesecake and glass of wine with my best friend to pull this together to flow a bit more seamlessly.

There is no magic school bus that will appear at my children's schools to take them home.  I had to become Ms. Frizzle.  I had to make each trip to each practice, game or any other event a part of the learning opportunity.  We took trips to various schools across the city and yes, homework was done in route and sometimes we were on public transportation but they also had to tell me: what was important about their day.  Why did they get the opportunity to rise that day?  How were they a good friend?  A studious listener? Or what new friend did they eat with?

The many trips up and down the road taught me many lessons on organization and communication.  I started using a dry erase board (that was hung in our dining room) to track the events for the week.  Whether it was a parent/teacher meeting or a meeting I needed to prep for at work.  EVERY thing went on the "BOARD OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS".  I reviewed many links on Pinterest (Command post ideas; Kitchen command center; Another command center idea and finally found the one I loved most.  (multiple calendar command)

There will and continues to be tweeks (and trips) in our constant change in schedules, and moving pieces in your day.  But no matter what happens, the best advice someone gave me that I must share with you....BREATHE!!  I know that sounds basic but listen, there is a difference in the type of breath you take.  Are you breathing to survive or breathing in all that is happening around you?  When you breathe in the title of SPORTS PARENT you breathe in all the tears, sweat, late nights, early mornings, travel and joys of being the example of all things possible.

There is no easy answer when your  a working parent of children and add in an after school activity.....but there is no greater joy then being there for your child WIN or LOOSE.  When you watch them reach goals set with a "but I can't" mindset.  Remind yourself, as you remind them....YOU CAN!! Not because of the sacrifices you may be making for them but because YOU BELIEVE IN THEM!

BELIEVE IN THE DREAM AND THEY WILL FOLLOW!  

And now....I'm off to update my board for May's activities.  :)  TTFN!!

Recharged Super Power

As a working mom, I rarely have time to read personal emails or be able to review the latest articles that I saved.  But when I checked my email for a response to an email I sent to a teacher at the teenager's school, I happened to open the link for a post on Oprah's website.  I took a few more moments to not just open but read the post.  Oprah gave me an AH HA moment  With work being extremely busy, and basketball season never ending, I realized I was mentally exhausted.

Imagine my surprise when I realized I had superpowers and still had a weakness!  Really??!!  I can scan Hamlet to make it relavent to my teenager, help my 6th grader with his algebra homework (I had to look to Youtube for help!!) and assist my 5th grader with study habits for his spelling test.  But I was mentally exhausted.


I noticed I was distracted, and less focused on all the stuff I needed to do in my day.  I was overwhelmed with new information I had to learn and master at work, while keeping up with playdates, being a homeroom parent for all my children's classes, arriving at various basketball practice locations, trainer information and game times.  I usually master all of these things in moments, but it was taking longer and my memory was seemingly growing shorter.  Thank goodness I recognized I needed a vacation and it was not because I was getting old. Being 40 years old brings on new challenges and I truly wasn't sure if this was one.

I needed a vacation but what I needed most was several days to rest mentally.  I needed to find a way to recharge.  I needed to find a way to be home, in my castle, in my cave, on my own planet away from the what was draining me.  I had taken on TOO many projects and never stopped moving.

I decided to take a week off from work and spend it doing fun things with the people I loved most....My minis!  My husband!! Myself!!!  How can I expect to save the world from the mean old monsters in the closet, the "I'm bored" child that I don't remember having, or the "I miss you, mommy" minis if I can't remember where I am supposed to be right now.  The last straw was when I showed up for a game at the wrong location and forgot to prep for dinner the night before. I knew then, what my husband said to me was a true....I TOLD YOU SO moment.  I needed to rest, and I needed to do it now.  Work would have to wait....parent social hour would have to be rescheduled....basketball games would need to be carpooled.

I told my minis that I would be home that week and they were shocked.  I get several weeks vacation at my place of employment and ALWAYS carryover ten days!  I only call out if one of the minis are ill.  I am the first one at work...and the last to leave.  You know...the perfectionist that has to do it all but doesn't know how to ask for help.  Yep...that was me.  (Is that you too?)

And in that very moment...at the very second my youngest jumped for joy....I realized they needed to recharge with me.  We planned a week of activities that included trips to several local parks and playgrounds, one on one time with each child, and one day for myself to do ABSOLUTELY nothing!
They enjoyed the eight playgrounds on three different days, they loved the movie night and most of all I loved every moment with them.

We are superheros in our own ways, but remember...for every superhero there is an assistant/sidekick to help them think through their heroic day.  Make sure you find your Alfred, Robin, Jimmy Olsten or Wonder Girl to help you be your best self!

What is My Secret?

Many people hear how many children we have and are shocked that I work outside of our home.  How do I get it all done and still sleep for at least 7 hours at night?  How do I manage so many little personalities at home and at work?  What is my secret?

Well, to be honest. there is only one secret that I know.  Trust God.

I have been a single parent with four children, worked and went to school.  My children (the first set) were taught the power is within them.  They know that on any given day, the will need to step up and be a good friend, a great listener and a strong leader.  These traits were taught to them early in their childhood not because I instructed them to be this way, but they saw how I interact with people.  The saw how elders are the pillars of the community and how to teach the generation behind them to be strong.

I am a married mother of eleven children now.  I have several bumps, and bruises from what has become my life as a mother, wife, sister, and friend.  I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but what I know is this path is mine to walk.  And with my husband and my faith leading the way, how could this journey not be full of trials, and triumphs!  Laughter and insightful moments! Reflection and teaching opportunities.

We are parents that work outside of our home, have five children in private schools (check out scholarship availability in your area), and six grown children who lead lives that many dream of.  I am a basketball mom that makes trips up and down the east coast, when possible, but also know when I need to tag in a friend or family member for help.

There are many scary things that come with parenting, and working outside of the home is one.  We had to find a childcare provider we trust, find a transportation service we could afford, and find employment that would allow for some flexibility.

Reality is....when an opportunity of parenting is placed upon us, it is a gift!  Like Christmas or Birthday every day of your life.  Celebrate it!!!  Even when you don't feel like it....stretch and shake yourself out of the "muck" that can consume you if you allow.  You have to start your day with the thought of I CAN, I WILL, and CLAIM IT.  Claim your victory.  Even when you feel overwhelmed and defeated, claim your success!  Focus on your goal for the minute, hour, day.  You will be able to see how your attitude will influence not just your day but the day of your minis, spouse and loved ones.

I have many tips and tricks to help keep my sanity, and smiling is one tip.  Smile today and shine your light!

2017 Junior Prom that Wasn't

Couple of the dresses she tried on at the
mall.

The teenager and I were mall hopping and dress shopping for months for her Junior Prom.  We searched on Pinterest (Dee's Prom dress ideas) and checked many online stores for dresses she would wear to Junior Prom  Cute online dress site but we worried about the length.  (She is 6'2!!)

She finally decided she wanted to get her dress custom made due to her long legs. (smh...I think they grow an inch every day!)

Dee's Designer
We narrowed down the color a beautiful teal and found the perfect design to meet her athletic build.  She grew excited.....while I grew nervous.  Not because I didn't trust her choices, because I do. Not because she was going to have to ask "some" boy to go to the prom with her, because I know she would make a good choice.  I wasn't even nervous because she was going to party until the sun came up.  I was nervous....because of ALL OF THE ABOVE AND....she is my first born daughter.
In my head, I remember when she was born I had the doctor check several times to confirm she was a girl.  That somehow in the see of testosterone and sea of blue....I would finally have a girl.  I wanted to make sure that even though they confirmed she was a girl in my ultra sounds, that somehow...there was not a gender mistake.  And through all the confirmation of her "girliness" I dreamed of her attending her proms and her wedding. Being a beautiful teenager blushing and shying away from the attention, as I had done (many MANY moons before).

So today we journey out to get measurements for her dress.  (I think I started hyperventilating at some point on this day because I kept hearing her say to me...."Mom, just breathe"....)  I watched as my mini me graduated to a mini diva!  When did this happen?  Who told her she could grow up?

Her designer/seamstress finalized Dee's dream dress and we were ready for her to be AMAZING!  Now time to find the right shoe to fit that floor length dress she designed.  There are many stores online but....we needed to see the shoe on her foot.  We decided to look for shoes after her tryouts for her AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) basketball team Maryland Belles.  Everything seemed to be falling into place.  She was excited and I was a proud momma.

We went looking at several shoe stores but did not find the "right" shoe.  My Cinderella would not be happy until the shoe fit perfectly!  :)

That evening, we were cooked dinner and when you are cooking for a large family like mine, dinner is always fun and interesting.  We search for foods that not only appeal to my southern style of cooking but are appetizing to my 11 year old vegetarian!  Yes my son, Elijah, has decided to not eat anything that once had a heart beat!  We have to constantly search the web, and my favorite sites to find food for all that fit a small budget.

I finally get everyone settled down for a quick dinner Veggie Burrito while I check emails one last time before shutting down for the night.  We get the email we were waiting for from the coach of her AAU team.  She made the team!!!  Yip Yip Yipee!!!!  Now let me check the schedule so I can re-prioritize my schedule for several months of games, practices and trainings.

They have an important Tournament during the same time as her prom!!!!!!!!  How can I tell her she will not be able to go to prom because college recruiters would be there to see her play?  How can I tell my Princess Diva that she would have to delay this night for about a year??  I mean, after all....it was her Junior Prom.  What would you do?

There were many tears, hugs, prayer and words of encouragement before I could even begin to crush my daughter's dream of the Perfect Prom.  But being the person she is, she took the news rather well.  She understood the significance of the college recruiters seeing her in her junior year of high school. We decided to have a Mommy and Teen day to get mani-pedis and just focus on what was important.  HER FUTURE

Being a mom has definitely taught me a lot about character.  We have to trust God's will and know that what is meant to be will always shine through.  2017 Junior Prom turned out to be the prom that wasn't but looking back at all the time i spent with my teenager, I REALLY appreciate the bigger picture.  Yes, she would have had a great time.  Yes, she would have been beautiful. Yes, all those memories she would have for years to come.  But what was missing from all, we thought was important?  The bond we have.  The time we spent together!  The conversations we shared. The laughter we had when trying on dresses that were too short, wrong fit, or just not the right one.  Never loose sight of what is important as we move quickly through our day.

Hey there!  We are the Jacksons!  A blended family of fun, sports, random giggles, loads of positive energy.

When my husband and I met, we realized that in our union not only did we have a lot in common for our future goals, but we also had mutual childhood friends and memories.  While we grew up in two different parts of our city, our lives crossed at various points but we never met.  (crazy right?!!)

We dated for several years before jumping the broom in August of 2005.

 This was one of the BEST days of our lives.  

Welcome to our busy lives......and journey with me as I raise this rambunctious group I lovingly call our Minis.