Finishing strong

Every morning, I see the cute young people jogging while I'm driving to work.  They look so carefree, and in meditational thought.  They look like running would be fun for a person like me with a lot on her plate. (But I can see myself looking more like Rasputia from Norbit then looking like Althea Gibson.) Not only because they have the cute little leggings and tops but because the simple counting of their breath, focus on each step, the distraction of not being distracted TOTALLY intrigues me.

Now, I used to run daily and took time to coordinate my attire.  I used to be one of those young people that enjoyed that sound of their increased heartbeat. I used to be one of the "cool" kids.  and then.....I had "adulting" and "parenting" standing at the end of each run that stopped me from returning to the pavement. So I continue to ride by sipping my caramel latte wishing for one day to trade places with these "runners".

Why shouldn't I be a part of this elite group of people again who sweat for the purpose not just because they were experiencing menopause?  Maybe I should venture out of my comfort zone called "Mom-zone" and hit the pavement.  

SO....I decided on my 40th birthday, at the beginning of February, to start running.  I found the most conservative attire, my son took me to get the latest pair of running shoes, and my cousin introduced me to a FABULOUS group of women who liked to run.  

"Ok....here we go"  it was 6:00am on a very cold February Sunday morning in Baltimore and I was more than nervous, I just wanted to run......TO MY CAR AND LOCK THE DOORS!  I had to remember I was 40 and fabulous and did not want to be 40 and fat!   

Deep breaths.... I focused on the youngest girl in the group who looked like she could outrun a bear and started stretching these old tired, "caramel latte every morning" body. I managed enough courage to remember my training from many high school years ago (for those that don't know...thats like 20 dog years!!)  Oh yeah.... I tried running on my first run down this beautiful, flowing hill before the pack of ladies turned into one lonely dust bunny (me) left way back.  They continued on with their run BUT after they made their "time", each one of the runners came back to encourage me to complete what I started. They not only encouraged me but ran with me to help me create a pace that I could manage.

By the end of that walk, jog, stop breathe, walk I gained a new respect for myself and those elite run groups!  I had a new appreciation for the packs of runners I would see in the mornings.  They had a "code"!!

They understood how the latte was so addictive and called out to me as the pavement called to them EVERY morning.  At the finish spot, we all celebrated each ladies' goal and successes, regardless of how small.  They even mentioned how the latte called to them in the mornings BUT on those days they ran further....longer to make up for whatever junk they consumed that day.

Listen, I am by no means an accomplished runner and I am still a bit jealous of the "pack", however, I learned the rules and will one day lead the group.  I'm just kidding!  It sounded good though, didn't it?  I am currently not ready to be a leader of the sprint/run team.  What I am is determined to complete what I started, and to accept the possibility that I can be a good runner (with a cute outfit and shoes). 

Why run when you can fly.....

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to scream because everything around you is running at Superman speed and you're not even in the race??   Lately, not only has everyone and everything seem to be running at an unusually fast pace, but I, for the first time, just watched.  Watching from the sidelines, cheering on the most amazing people.   This is what they mean by "adulting"? I don't think I saw a sign-up sheet for this event "adulting"!!

I realized that I was no longer sitting with the crowd cheering, I was now alone in the stands.

Now, I know many people will say "Well, you have to brush yourself off and get back in the race."  And while that was true, it was also furthest from what I needed.

I needed to take care of ME!  I had to become my biggest, loudest, most obnoxious cheerleader. Standing alone, in the stands, allowed me to view the hurdles that were quickly being placed in my lane, but I could also see the finish line for each goal.  By standing alone in my cheering section, I could also get closer or step back when I needed to get a clearer view.  I did not need to "...brush yourself off and get back in the race."  I needed to rest, study, and prepare for the obstacles that others could not clear.  I needed to warn others of what could be ahead and take note of how they used what they knew to keep going.

 I had everything I needed to achieve this goal but I didn't understand I WAS NOT CREATED TO RUN. I needed to fly!!! I had a group of angels that could help me but I thought they would just push, or pull me when I felt like giving up.  What I didn't know was they had been placed in my life to encourage me to spread my wings.  They saw my wings before I knew I had any.  They felt the breeze because they were flyers.

Whenever I feel like screaming or I get frustrated I have to remember, that races are for runners and they need lanes. I am a flyer.....and need to soar.